Post by Tuce Willis on Apr 26, 2008 1:29:01 GMT -5
There is only one thing people should play Smash Bros. Brawl for: taunting. Sure, we all like the characters, winning matches, and learning new techniques, but really, this game is all about ridiculing other people mercilessly.
But when is it appropriate to taunt? When are the best times to do so? What are the rules of etiquette when taunting other people, and how can you utilize your taunts to get the maximum desired effect?
One of the Tauntology neophytes' most flawed assumption is that a taunt will always be equally effective in every situation. This is surprisingly not the case.
Taunts are to be used for dramatic effect, as a measure to destroy someone's will and make them play Halo instead.
There are a few unrecognized ground rules for taunting that need to be addressed:
Rule 1: NOT ALL TAUNTS ARE CREATED EQUAL. This should go without saying, but it's true. Olimar might be an extremely effective character, but he's just too quiet and inconspicuous to be a legitimate taunter (making him bottom tier in the official listings). The best taunts are quick, noisy, and easy to spam. Game and Watch was given two bell taunts for a reason. Every time you can have Kirby yell "Hi!" or Yoshi shout "Yep! Yep!" is a wonderful opportunity to bait someone into chasing after you.
Rule 2: THE EFFECT OF EACH SUBSEQUENT TAUNT INCREASES EXPONENTIALLY. Edge guarding is fine and dandy, but what if you taunt four different times, and THEN successfully edge gaurd someone? It doesn't get much better than that. EXCEPTION: If a taunt is interrupted, the effect is reduced to zero. Think of it like pulling off a line of tricks on Tony Hawk's Pro Skater. If you screw up the last one, the points you get for all of the previous ones are erased.
Rule 3: TAUNTING AFTER KO-ING SOMEONE IS A CLICHE. This might come as a surprise to some, but it's true. Anyone can taunt when there's no danger of reprisal. It's expected. It has a better effect if you taunt after YOU die, believe it or not. EXCEPTION: SUCCESSFULLY SUICIDE-KILLING WITH BOWSER OR KIRBY. See Rule 9.
Rule 4: CERTAIN MOVES QUALIFY AS TAUNTS WHEN USE CORRECTLY. Good examples are resting and singing as Jigglypuff from across the screen. Want to laugh at someone? Duck repeatedly in rapid succession as Game and Watch. Of course, this should never be used in lieu of the mighty bell taunt.
Rule 5: TAUNTING A MARTH THAT INTENDS TO COUNTER IS A THING OF BEAUTY. This needs no explanation.
Rule 6: IN AN ONLINE MATCH, DON'T ADD QUOTES TO YOUR TAUNTS. "Really? Why not?" Because taunts should be contextual. Leave it open to interpretation. The more time they spend trying to figure out just what the hell you're trying to say with your taunt, the more time you can spend beating them up, or better yet, taunting some more.
Rule 7: A MATCH THAT CONSISTS ALMOST SOLELY OF TAUNTING IS ACCEPTABLE, GIVEN THE QUALITY OF THE TAUNT. If you are playing a Kirby vs. Kirby match, the proper way to fight is to taunt each other until one person gets bored and makes the mistake of attacking. This is especially true during a free-for-all that comes down to two survivors. Make the people that made the mistake of dieing (probably because they weren't taunting properly) wait as long as necessary. If you have a low-quality taunt set for your characters, however, taunt duels should be avoided. A Zelda vs. Olimar taunt match is just sad.
Rule 8: OFFICIAL TOURNAMENT RULES DICTATE THAT IF SNAKE SUCCESSFULLY EDGE GUARDS SOMEONE WITH A TAUNT, HE WINS THE MATCH. It's listed right after "No items."
Rule 9: LANDING CERTAIN MOVES REQUIRE YOU TO TAUNT AFTERWARDS. Landing a Falcon Punch requires a taunt immediately after wards. Landing a Warlock Punch requires you to perform all three of Ganondorf's (or Kirby's) taunts afterwards. Landing a fully-charged Eruption requires no less than seven taunts throughout the course of the next person's life.
Rule 10: DON'T TAUNT ANY BEGINNER TRYING TO LEARN THE GAME. It's like punching a toddler. There's no challenge in it. Of course, if they taunt you (probably after getting a KO), all bets are off.
Live by these simple rules and the power for your taunts will be far greater than ever seen. This concludes our preliminary sermon. Can I get a "Show me your moves,"?
Peace be with you.
But when is it appropriate to taunt? When are the best times to do so? What are the rules of etiquette when taunting other people, and how can you utilize your taunts to get the maximum desired effect?
One of the Tauntology neophytes' most flawed assumption is that a taunt will always be equally effective in every situation. This is surprisingly not the case.
Taunts are to be used for dramatic effect, as a measure to destroy someone's will and make them play Halo instead.
There are a few unrecognized ground rules for taunting that need to be addressed:
Rule 1: NOT ALL TAUNTS ARE CREATED EQUAL. This should go without saying, but it's true. Olimar might be an extremely effective character, but he's just too quiet and inconspicuous to be a legitimate taunter (making him bottom tier in the official listings). The best taunts are quick, noisy, and easy to spam. Game and Watch was given two bell taunts for a reason. Every time you can have Kirby yell "Hi!" or Yoshi shout "Yep! Yep!" is a wonderful opportunity to bait someone into chasing after you.
Rule 2: THE EFFECT OF EACH SUBSEQUENT TAUNT INCREASES EXPONENTIALLY. Edge guarding is fine and dandy, but what if you taunt four different times, and THEN successfully edge gaurd someone? It doesn't get much better than that. EXCEPTION: If a taunt is interrupted, the effect is reduced to zero. Think of it like pulling off a line of tricks on Tony Hawk's Pro Skater. If you screw up the last one, the points you get for all of the previous ones are erased.
Rule 3: TAUNTING AFTER KO-ING SOMEONE IS A CLICHE. This might come as a surprise to some, but it's true. Anyone can taunt when there's no danger of reprisal. It's expected. It has a better effect if you taunt after YOU die, believe it or not. EXCEPTION: SUCCESSFULLY SUICIDE-KILLING WITH BOWSER OR KIRBY. See Rule 9.
Rule 4: CERTAIN MOVES QUALIFY AS TAUNTS WHEN USE CORRECTLY. Good examples are resting and singing as Jigglypuff from across the screen. Want to laugh at someone? Duck repeatedly in rapid succession as Game and Watch. Of course, this should never be used in lieu of the mighty bell taunt.
Rule 5: TAUNTING A MARTH THAT INTENDS TO COUNTER IS A THING OF BEAUTY. This needs no explanation.
Rule 6: IN AN ONLINE MATCH, DON'T ADD QUOTES TO YOUR TAUNTS. "Really? Why not?" Because taunts should be contextual. Leave it open to interpretation. The more time they spend trying to figure out just what the hell you're trying to say with your taunt, the more time you can spend beating them up, or better yet, taunting some more.
Rule 7: A MATCH THAT CONSISTS ALMOST SOLELY OF TAUNTING IS ACCEPTABLE, GIVEN THE QUALITY OF THE TAUNT. If you are playing a Kirby vs. Kirby match, the proper way to fight is to taunt each other until one person gets bored and makes the mistake of attacking. This is especially true during a free-for-all that comes down to two survivors. Make the people that made the mistake of dieing (probably because they weren't taunting properly) wait as long as necessary. If you have a low-quality taunt set for your characters, however, taunt duels should be avoided. A Zelda vs. Olimar taunt match is just sad.
Rule 8: OFFICIAL TOURNAMENT RULES DICTATE THAT IF SNAKE SUCCESSFULLY EDGE GUARDS SOMEONE WITH A TAUNT, HE WINS THE MATCH. It's listed right after "No items."
Rule 9: LANDING CERTAIN MOVES REQUIRE YOU TO TAUNT AFTERWARDS. Landing a Falcon Punch requires a taunt immediately after wards. Landing a Warlock Punch requires you to perform all three of Ganondorf's (or Kirby's) taunts afterwards. Landing a fully-charged Eruption requires no less than seven taunts throughout the course of the next person's life.
Rule 10: DON'T TAUNT ANY BEGINNER TRYING TO LEARN THE GAME. It's like punching a toddler. There's no challenge in it. Of course, if they taunt you (probably after getting a KO), all bets are off.
Live by these simple rules and the power for your taunts will be far greater than ever seen. This concludes our preliminary sermon. Can I get a "Show me your moves,"?
Peace be with you.
